See How She Awakens Page 2

  “Izzy.” Aberto’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. His brow creased as he looked back and forth between my eyes. “What is it you think I should see?”

  “The darkness.” He didn’t see it. Maybe I truly was mad.

  He doesn’t believe you. If he can’t believe you, then you shouldn’t trust him. He will just betray you, the darkness whispered.

  Closing my eyes tightly I pushed the feelings back.

  He is the reason Kennan left you in the void. He is to blame for every time you lost Kennan., the darkness sing-songed.

  “Please, make it stop.” I clutched my head tightly, shaking it back and forth, hoping to somehow rid myself of the lingering words.

  “We must leave the dreaming, Izzy. You lingered in the void for too long.” Aberto rose suddenly, as if a mission had presented itself, and he was ready to pull me from the dreaming and get me back to myself.

  “If you take me from this place, everyone will be in danger,” I promised. I didn’t know how long I would be able to repress the thoughts that wormed their way through my brain, or even how long I would know they weren’t my own thoughts. If I lost myself to the darkness completely, I didn’t know what might happen.

  “Everyone is in danger now, Izzy. Molly is dying.” Aberto’s hard gaze locked with my own.

  He is just trying to trick you, Izzy, came the voice again.

  “How can she be dying? Why? Are you lying to me?” Not that he would answer the last question, but the doubt hovered just below the surface.

  “She is dying because the darkness prevails.”

  “But I fulfilled the prophecy; I fell,” I muttered, disbelief coating every word.

  “I believe the only way you will truly trust what I say is to come back with me.” Aberto softened his voice, as though he were attempting to placate a child. He’d used that voice on me when I was younger. I remembered.

  “If I leave, everyone will be in danger. Why can’t you understand? Why don’t you believe me?” Fear crackled through me, igniting sparks along my body. If I wasn’t careful I would burn the dreaming.

  “Then a bargain, perhaps?” Aberto tilted his head in challenge.

  “What sort of bargain?” I questioned.

  He won’t honor his word. He is going to deceive you again. His words are nothing more than lies. This from the darkness; the ever present reminder of my deepest fears.

  “If you come back with me, and do not find what I have said to be true, I will return you to the void myself.” Aberto leveled me with his gaze. I knew his word was stone. He’d proven that countless times. No matter what the darkness might want me to believe, I still trusted Aberto wouldn’t break his oath.

  “I don’t know that I will be able to help.” The honest truth, as painful as it was, finally spoken.

  “You will never know if you remain here. Come back with me,” Aberto pleaded.

  “I have your word you will return me?”

  “You do.” Aberto pulled me to his chest, wrapping himself around me. The pull of the dreaming swirled around us as we were thrust back onto the plane I’d never wanted to see again.

  We surfaced from the dreaming just outside of the Order. Fear clenched my gut as a thousand images flashed before my mind. This was the last place I’d been with Kennan, and now it stood as a crumbling monument to all I’d lost. Kennan’s voice skirted through my mind; the memory of him asking for just one more day echoing as we moved closer to the house. He’d known he would die, and yet he’d still gone. Everything he’d done was to protect me, so that I could live. But how could I live without him?

  Choking back hot tears, I promised myself it would be over soon. Aberto had given me his word. I could be back in the void soon. Back with Kennan. No—he’d left. He’d left because of something Aberto had said. What had he said? My thoughts were so disjointed. Nothing made sense.

  “We must get inside.” Aberto’s voice interrupted my thoughts as he opened the door, doing his best to get me into the old rickety house.

  Memories rooted me in place, turning my feet into lead. Necessity pushed me; the promise of returning to the void the only thing that propelled me to move. As I took the first steps toward the house, I knew. If I took these steps, everything would change. The moment definitive, there would be no going back. I’d tried that and failed, so I would move forward. Perhaps there I could find the peace I sought.

  As my foot crossed the threshold, the house fell into an eerie silence. All eyes seemed to turn toward me at once. I wasn’t sure what they saw. I searched the faces for someone—anyone—that might be feeling the same loss I felt. Conall came into view, his shoulders slumped, defeat etched across his face. But when his eye connected with mine, his posture straightened and determination replaced defeat. He would be disappointed; they all would. I couldn’t help them. My very presence brought nothing more than pain and destruction. I would hurt every last one of them.

  They don’t deserve your help. What did they do for you? They took you from your life and made you soar before stealing everything you held dear, the darkness whispered. The truth of the statement echoed in my mind. I’d lost so much, and all of it because of what I am, what I was.

  “Izzy?” My aunt’s half-choked sob pulled me from the dark words.

  “Hello, Mona.” I turned to face my aunt as she moved towards me. Everything about the way she moved said she wanted to embrace me. Panic welled within me. What if the darkness fled from me only to take root inside of her? I couldn’t let that happen. Just as she moved to wrap her arms around me, I sifted myself backward, reappearing a few feet from where I’d been seconds before, the action an unconscious reflex to my fear. I didn’t even know I was capable of doing it.

  “Izzy?” Mona’s question was filled with hurt.

  “Please. I don’t want to be touched.” I pleaded with my eyes. If Aberto didn’t believe me about the darkness, how would she?

  “I understand.” Mona’s demeanor shifted. All emotions fled as her back straightened and her face morphed into a black mask. “Molly is this way.”

  In less time than it took to take a single breath, Mona had changed from my aunt back into the leader of the Order.

  She doesn’t really want you here. She thinks you will take her position. If she truly loved you, why didn’t she come for you when your mother died? The darkness came, more audible this time. It was growing stronger, expanding within me. I could feel it searching for chinks in my armor. With each breath I took, it grew inside of me, learning me. Its words growing teeth as the truth of them sank in. The darkness was right, she never came for me.

  We made our way through the house, everyone giving me a wide berth. The looks on their faces a mixture of horror and pity. What did they see when they looked upon me? Was I truly so altered?

  A closed door was all that stood between us and Molly. Just beyond the wooden barrier, I could hear anguished pleading. It cut through me as I realized it was Ian’s fearful voice coming from within.

  “Molly, stay strong. Don’t let them get to you again. You can’t go back into the dreaming,” Ian pleaded.

  “But Izzy is there. If she doesn’t come back then all is lost. She knows something, Ian. Something that will stop this.” Molly’s voice sounded weak.

  The doors opened to an unspeakable horror. My eyes refused to believe what they were seeing. Molly lay stretched out on the bed, altered almost beyond recognition. Her arms and legs were coated with black crackled skin, turning them into nothing more than charcoaled waste. Her beautiful face was twisted in agony as trails of blood traced maps down her face.

  There was something familiar about the horrific image. I’d seen this. In the void. This wasn’t supposed to be real.

  “The darkness is coming. Act now, or all is lost. The war rages on.” The words escaped my lips as my feet began to carry me around the room. Unease settled in my bones as the voices continued their assault. All I wanted was for this to be over. It was supposed to be over. My han
ds lifted to either side of my head, trying to block them out. This wasn’t real. Maybe I was still in the void.

  “Izzy? Izzy is that you?” Molly questioned hopefully.

  “This isn’t real,” I murmured, unable to look at Molly.

  “I assure you, Izzy. This is quite real.” Aberto’s voice seemed to pull me back to the room.

  “What is this? Is this some kind of ploy to keep me here? Did you do this so that I would stay?” I turned on Aberto as the darkness swelled within me.

  “Izzy, STOP!” Ian shouted. His face told me everything I needed to know. This was really happening, and it was my fault. She’d said she had to go back into the dreaming to find me. She’d been there, and I’d pushed her away.

  “How?” I choked, falling to my knees. The realization of knowing I might have been able to prevent this from ever happening threatened to pull me under. Everyone I loved ended up hurt because of me. My love brought with it a death sentence. My mother, Kennan, now Molly.

  It is better to not love at all, the darkness whispered.

  “She is an Empath,” Eleanor spoke from the doorway, moving towards me. “When she first arrived here two months ago, the bleeding started. With each trip into the dreaming, it has gotten significantly worse.”

  “Why did you keep going back?” My voice came out a broken whisper as disbelief and pain warred within me.

  “To find you, Izzy. She kept going back to find you. According to her, you wouldn’t have let us stay in the void alone.” Ian bored at me, and I could see anger and blame in his eyes.

  “Ian, don’t,” Molly begged. “She had every right to do what she did.”

  “Not at the cost of your life,” Ian swore, his jaw clenching as the fire in his eyes engulfed me.

  “I didn’t know. I didn’t know they were real. He was there, and I just wanted to stay. I didn’t want to come here. Don’t you understand? I will be the death of everyone if I remain.” My head whipped back and forth as I frantically searched the faces of those I’d held so dear.

  Their looks of concern and blame pressed in on me, choking the air from my lungs. They didn’t understand. How could they? Fear clawed at me as the panic began to well within; I couldn’t stay in this room. Longing for an escape, I sifted outside of the house leaving them behind.

  “What in the hell were you thinking?” Conall’s voice shouted from inside the house.

  Voices moved towards me, each one drowning out the others in an effort to be heard.

  “I’m sorry, but what I said is the truth,” Ian growled.

  “No, what you said is your truth. Izzy watched as Kennan was torn from her. She lost all she’s ever known. Furthermore, she was in the void. You’ve heard stories of what that can do to someone’s mind. Do not dishonor Kennan’s memory by allowing your pain to hurt Izzy more than she already does.” Conall opened the door, cutting off his words as he searched for me.

  “Izzy.” Ian lowered his gaze.

  “I didn’t know.” Tears welled in my eyes. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “What do you mean, hurt anyone?” Conall’s voice softened, coaxing me to press on. He kept his distance, as if I were a scared rabbit ready to race off at the slightest movement.

  “Why doesn’t anyone see it?” I begged. They all looked at me like I was mad, but I wasn’t. Was I?

  “Izzy, what are you talking about?” Ian moved closer, reaching to touch me. He couldn’t touch me; no one could.

  I sifted out of the way, causing his hand to brush through air.

  “Please. Don’t touch me,” I whispered, turning my back on everyone and wrapping my arms around myself.

  “Where the hell is Aberto?” Ian grumbled.

  “I am here. I had matters to discuss with Mona.” I could feel Aberto’s stare on the back of my neck, making it all too clear the matter he’d needed to discuss was me.

  Before I could sift away, his arms lifted me into the air, cradling me like child. He effectively secured me so I could no longer escape.

  “DON’T!” I shouted, fear slithering through me.

  “I held you in the dreaming, and no harm befell me. I believe myself to be safe from whatever you fear may come.” Aberto’s voice was calm.

  “But that is the dreaming. Here it might happen. I just want down. I want everyone to stay as far away from me as they can. Why doesn’t anyone understand?” I was trying to protect them, and all they did was put themselves in danger.

  They don’t believe you, Izzy. They think you went insane in the void, the darkness murmured.

  “I will take you to a room where you can rest.” Aberto refused to let go, and no matter how hard I tried to sift away from him, I couldn’t.

  “Not that room. I can’t go back to that room,” I pleaded, praying Aberto would understand. The memories of the time Kennan and I’d shared in this house pulsed from the room we’d shared, and mercifully Aberto led me past it, taking me further into the house.

  “Of course.”

  Aberto’s steps led me into a room I’d never seen. Gently, he lowered me onto the bed, tucking the blankets around me to form a tight cocoon. I stared blankly at the wall as he moved from the room, shutting the door behind him.

  “What is going on?” Ian’s heated voice asked from just beyond the door.

  “Keep your voice down, Guardian, she is resting,” Aberto chided.

  “What happened to her in the dreaming?” Conall’s lowered voice was still audible, if just barely.

  “She believes something is inside of her that will harm us. She looked at me with such pain in her eyes. She has convinced herself she will bring nothing but suffering with her.” Aberto sounded scared.

  “How can she help us if she has gone bat-shit crazy?” Ian growled.

  “We will bring her back. She gave all for us, sacrificed all to bring down Sonneillon. No matter the cost, we will bring her back,” Conall swore.

  “What about Molly? Izzy can’t help her when she’s like this.” Ian’s voice sounded as though it came through clenched teeth.

  “Which is more of an incentive to bring her back to herself, is it not? Do not mistake me, Guardian. My whole existence belongs to Izzy. If you so much as move to push her beyond her limitations, I will end you. Though I understand the pain you suffer, trying to move her before she is ready will not serve any of our purposes. I will protect your Seer.” Aberto’s steely voice sent chills down my spine.

  “How? How can you possibly protect her? They said the marks wouldn’t work.” Ian’s voice was full of hope and fear.

  “I can put her in a sort of stasis.” Aberto moved away from the door, his voice fading toward where I’d left the broken Molly.

  “Like a coma?” Ian shouted, his voice following behind Aberto’s.

  “Rest well, Izzy. We need you.” Conall’s voice flitted softly through the door before his footsteps led him away.

  They want you to give more. Haven’t you done enough? came the darkness.

  “I will give them my all before I see her dead.” I promised before sleep pulled me under.

  The cemetery loomed before me, the gathering clouds overhead dark and ominous. The moment had come. It was time to face the prophecy, to move forward and save everyone I loved. I’d seen this moment for months, known how it would play out. Just as I’d known a battle raged overhead, a never-ending war that could have no victor.

  Uriel had told me what would come if I didn’t fulfill my destiny. I’d seen the vision of Sonneillon as he lay waste to the world around me. Brother turning against brother, their hatred set aflame from within. I knew I had to act, to stop it.

  Guardians amassed, preparing to fight the demon as it broke through to our plane. Their forms shifting and changing as they took on the aspect of their lineage. Kennan grew to towering heights, seemingly invincible, a gargantuan creature bent on destruction—a berserker. Surely he would be protected.

  The earth shook, pulling my attention to what was coming. The
world would never survive if I didn’t fulfill my call. Through the darkness the demon came, surging onto our plane of existence; where it was never meant to roam. I became stone, powerless to move as the darkness washed over me.

  Everything moved slowly as the demon made its way in my direction. Still, I couldn’t move. My mind frozen, unable to break the hold the demon had over me. The hatred swirled through my soul. Whispering to me, calling me to bend to its will.

  Kennan moved towards the demon, struggling to intercept it. Then it happened. The moment time would never be able to undo. As the demon lifted Kennan from the ground, it ripped outward, pulling Kennan apart.

  Kennan was gone. He couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t happen that quickly. Why did he do that? Why did he get in the demon’s way? I was supposed to fall. I was supposed to die, not him.

  A fissure ripped through my soul, exposing all I’d been holding back. A power so forceful, it ripped through my corporeal form, shifting me and molding me into something no Seer was ever meant to be. The fire coursed through me as I grew closer to Sonneillon. Everything I’d loved had been taken from me. I had nothing left; the prophecy would be fulfilled. My existence swirled in a maelstrom of blue flames burning ever brighter. As my arms made contact with the demon, it happened. The moment that was spoken of when time began.

  But then it stopped. Nothing, no sound, no movement—the moment froze in time. I looked up at the demon and saw something, a skittering cross its eyes, almost a smile. I burned, the flames engulfing us both, but made worse by the darkness that had begun to snake itself around my legs. Surely it would disappear with the demon.

  “You cannot defeat me without becoming mine,” Sonneillon’s voice slowly grated through my mind.

  “I don’t understand.” Confusion whipped through my mind. I would never allow myself to belong to a demon; especially not one hell bent on hatred and the destruction of all I held dear. My home was decimated, scattered pieces on the ground because of this creature.

  “My darkness will consume you. Time is your enemy.” Sonneillon’s grinding laugh ripped through my mind as pain welled within me. My soul felt stretched to the brink before the apex of the implosion ripped all I’d been away.