Seeing is Believing Read online

  “What is this, twenty questions?” Ian sat up, moving to lean against the wall next to me. His warmth radiated against my skin, beckoning me closer. Nope, I would practice my statue impersonation. Resistance wasn’t quite futile, yet.

  “There’s just so much I don’t know about you. You never tell me anything real. Between you jumping into the fray and playing practical jokes on me, I don’t really know much. I’m just trying to figure you out, I guess.” Looking over, I found Ian studying my face.

  “I will answer any of your questions, except those about Kennan. I’m not ready yet.” Ian reached down to entwine his fingers with mine. The contact sent a wave of pain and loss ripping through me. Gasping, I tried my best not to pull my hand away. I could do this. Just breathe.

  “What’s with the clothes?” I ground out, trying to balance my emotions with his.

  A deep chuckle rumbled from him, shaking the bed. “The clothes? Really, that’s where you are going to start?”

  “If you’d seen yourself when I first met you, you would start there, too.” For the first time in a small eternity, a smile graced his lips.

  “It all started as a sort of defense mechanism, I suppose.” Ian’s lips twitched into a sideways smile as a memory danced behind his eyes. “When I first left the Order, I didn’t feel as though I belonged anywhere. I was a fish out of water. I didn’t fit in with the Guardians that had been brought up within the Council, nor could I contact my friends from the Order. I was lost. The only thing I felt I had control over was my appearance. It started as a joke, more or less. I thought if I am going to stick out, I might as well do it to the best of my abilities. It made me feel better.” Ian’s smile vanished, leaving him to stare at me, bracing for the next question.

  “Do you miss it?” I wondered. I’d never given much thought to why he’d dressed that way. I’d just wanted him to change it.

  “No, I haven’t needed it in a long time. The clothes are more of a habit, now, than the coping mechanism they once were. Then there is you. You seem to prefer me in matching clothes.”

  “But you shouldn’t change for me. That doesn’t make any sense.” Guilt washed over me. I knew I’d been hard on him about the way he dressed. It was just the only thing I could find to pick on him about. Everything else about him was so damned perfect; it was unnerving.

  “Clothes are just clothes; besides, one of these days, you are going to prefer me without them.” He winked in my direction, sending that warmth rushing through my body once more.

  “On that note, I think they are probably waiting on us.” I hopped up off of the bed, putting as much distance between us as I could manage.

  “Chicken,” Ian snickered, following me from the room.

  “Are you ready?” A freshly cleaned Conall asked as we stepped out of the room.

  “As ready as I’m going to be,” Ian replied flatly.

  “Then follow me.” Conall’s voice seemed to break on every word, as if he were pushing back some great sorrow. A sorrow I refused to let myself feel. I couldn’t allow myself to get lost in my own emotions. Something was coming, and if I lost it we’d never get Izzy back.

  “What happened?” Ian pulled Conall to a stop. There was no hint of accusation behind his words, only a plea for answers.

  “It is best if Mona explains. I am not capable of retelling the horrors of what occurred. Please do not ask this of me,” Conall pleaded with Ian.

  “Will she tell me the whole of it?” Ian questioned.

  “She has no choice but to relay the truth.” Conall turned and made his way down the hall toward Mona’s room.

  “Please, come in,” Mona said, holding the door for us, ushering us into the room.

  “How are you?” I reached out for Mona’s arm, suddenly curious how she was holding up with Izzy’s disappearance. She’d only just gotten her niece back, and now she was once more lost to her.

  “I will endure, child,” Mona replied evenly, blocking all emotions.

  A group of people had assembled in the room, awaiting our arrival. Sena stood off to the side, watching Conall evenly. Standing next to her was Eleanor. Eleanor looked as though she’d lost her daughter all over again; only this time she had nothing to focus on to mitigate the pain.

  “Let us come to order. We must replay the events as they transpired, from each of our perspectives. If not, we may miss something.” Mona spoke to the group evenly, making it impossible to doubt her authority here.

  “Excuse me?” Me and my big mouth. It popped out before I’d even finished my thought. I really was starting to channel Izzy.

  “Molly,” Ian warned under his breath.

  “It is alright, we believe in speaking our minds here, or have you so easily forgotten?” Mona tilted her head to the side, assessing Ian.

  “I forget nothing,” he coldly replied.

  “What is on your mind?” Mona looked straight at me, almost daring me to speak again. I felt as though I were being tested, weighed for my worth.

  “Shouldn’t Aberto be here?” Willing my voice to remain steady was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, and I’d had to do a lot of crazy stuff in the past year.

  “Has he not been summoned?” Mona looked around the room.

  “The last I saw him, he was heading to Chicago to meet with Ian and Molly,” Conall supplied.

  “I told him to go find Izzy,” I supplied, hoping that would explain his absence.

  “Well, then you can summon him back.” Mona’s response left no room for argument. “We can wait here for his return. If you need privacy, you may excuse yourself.”

  “I believe I can find him from here.” I hoped I wouldn’t make a fool of myself. I didn’t exactly have practice jumping in and out of the dreaming. Not to mention, I didn’t have Izzy’s ability to summon Aberto at will. Finger’s crossed, I would find him, and quickly.

  I made my way to a chair in the corner of the room, trusting the separation would give me more clarity. As I lowered myself down, I caught Ian’s look of concern.

  “Are you sure you are ready to be doing this? We still haven’t talked much about what happened on the helicopter.” The concern in his voice did nothing to buoy my spirit.

  “It’s Izzy. I have to try.” I nodded at him and tried to tune out the emotions raging in the room. A sudden rush of calm washed over me and I looked up to find that Sena had placed her hand on my shoulder.

  “I will teach you how to block it out for yourself later. But for now, you can use me as a crutch.” She winked at me before turning her attention back to the room, as if she exerted little to no effort in averting my mind from the emotional bombardment.

  “Thank you,” I breathed out slowly. With Sena’s help, the fear and pain slipped away, leaving clarity. I could do this. I could find Aberto.

  The dreaming bubbled up around me, the fog slowly seeping into my reality. I wondered if everyone entered the dreaming the same way. Sena’s calming affect made it hard for me to gain my bearings. If I’d been able to go in feeling pain and sorrow, it would’ve been much easier to find Aberto. I guess I could shout for him.

  “ABERTO!” echoed through the fog as I raised my voice to call out once more. I was trapped in some deranged game of Marco Polo, only Aberto wasn’t responding. “Aberto?”

  Movement to my left startled me. Turning, I found my charred visage moving in my direction. I wanted to run. I wanted to flee. My feet were made of stone, pinning me in place.

  “No, no more!”

  “The darkness is rising.” Her voice cut down to my soul.

  “No, she stopped it. Izzy stopped the demon from coming,” I pleaded.

  “The war rages on.” Another voice joined the chorus. It was Conall this time; his visage mimicked that of my own.

  “No, you aren’t real. All of those emotions are playing tricks on me. This isn’t real.” I turned as another body approached.

  “Act now, or all will be lost.” Ian made his way towards me. He reache
d out to touch my face as I pulled myself from the dreaming.

  I turned to the side, hoping to avoid anyone, as I emptied the contents of my stomach. The smell of charred skin clung to my nostrils. Lifting my hand to wipe tears from my face, I found blood instead.

  “What happened?” Ian’s concern was palpable.

  “I saw them again. I don’t know what they want,” I wept. More blood sprang from my eyes as I struggled to regain my balance. What was happening to me?

  “What is this?” Ian demanded of Mona.

  “Were you touched by a Revenant, child?” Mona approached me slowly, holding out a damp cloth that had seemingly appeared out of thin air.

  “A what?” I struggled to steady my breathing.

  “A creature that is an echo of what may yet come. The remains of Seers and Guardians that have failed to uphold their duty in an alternate time. They come to warn us. Some have called them harbingers of doom, others believe them to be banshee; whatever they are, it is a sign that something bad is on the rise. Tell me what you saw. What you heard.” Mona lowered herself in front of me to be at eye level.

  “They said the darkness would still fall, and we must act now or all will be lost. I don’t know what any of it means. Why am I bleeding from my eyeballs? They were bleeding from every hole on their face and their bodies were burned. Will that happen to me? Will I be transformed in the dreaming every time they approach?” Panic surged within me. Fears I hadn’t known before assaulted me from every direction.

  “You are their messenger. As an empath you can carry their message to us in a way no other could. This is a warning of what is to come.” Mona placed her hands on either side of my face as though the blood didn’t affect her.

  “But will I end up like them? Will they change me?”

  “It is possible.” She replied, her honesty doing nothing to comfort me.

  “We won’t let this happen to you,” Ian promised.

  “Kennan said the same thing about Izzy, but there is no avoiding fate.” I looked up to Ian, and knew I’d let my mouth get away from me again. Izzy and Kennan were both lost to us now, but at least they’d fought. I was just giving up before I’d even started. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “You speak the truth,” Conall said from my side. I hadn’t even seen him approach. Freaking ninjas.

  “Some things are better left unsaid. That was one of them.” I steadied myself and looked at Mona before continuing. “I couldn’t find him, they assaulted me before I even had time to think.”

  “Well then, we will have to carry on without him.” Mona rose to retake her position in the middle of the room. Leaving me alone with my overly concerned Guardian in the corner.

  “The darkness is still destined to fall. We’ve been given the warning, now we must act. But first, we must discuss what has transpired so we may gain a better grasp on what is befalling us now. I ask Conall to begin with his version of the day’s events.”

  It began slowly, Conall hesitant to begin the tale. One by one the tale unfolded, everyone recounting what had transpired. The story of how Izzy froze, unable to move as the hatred coursed through her veins. How Kennan’s death ripped her from herself, causing her to crack into a brilliant light leaving nothing in its wake untouched. Then the worst part of all, when Izzy realized Kennan was gone. Over and over again Seers and Guardians alike stumbled over the words, reliving the agony of a battle that should’ve been a victory. No one believed the cost to be just. No one understood the price that had been paid. More importantly, no one could explain what had happened to Izzy. No more than Aberto had explained it to us before he left.

  “How are we supposed to find her, Ian?” I whispered, trying my hardest not to draw attention from the others.

  “I don’t know,” he replied, choking back tears.

  The hours melted away, leaving me raw. Every emotion in the room assaulted me, relentless in their attack. Even with Sena to buffer the pain, it was overwhelming. I needed to escape. The room closed in around me as I willed my body to move. I stood slowly, doing my best to keep my stomach contents where they were. Tossing my cookies all over the floor wasn’t something I wanted to do twice in one day. Doing my best to be respectful, but exit all the same, I looked over to Mona, hoping she would understand. With an almost imperceptible nod, she gave me leave. I just hoped Ian wouldn’t be compelled to follow.

  I should’ve known he would follow. The man hadn’t let me out of his sight since we’d heard about Izzy and Kennan. Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, I did my best to tune his emotions out. My soul felt exposed. Any small pain would feel unbearable. Quiet, I longed for quiet. For solitude.

  “I can teach you how, you know.” Ian moved beside me, clasping my hand in his. The contact sent a wave of comfort rushing through my body. He was a lifeboat, and I would cling to him until I no longer felt as though I were drowning.

  “Teach me how to what?”

  “Block it all out. We can do it with a rune to help at first if you would like.” Ian opened the door to our room, holding it open so I could enter.

  “Why haven’t you offered before now?” Anger bubbled up within me. He knew I’d been battling this for months. Emotions that threatened to unhinge me. Nothing felt simple anymore. Not since the lab was raided and my life had been turned upside down. Hell, nothing was simple. My best friend wasn’t even technically human anymore and had disappeared. My mother was a traitorous, unrepentant, psychopathic bitch. The man I could potentially have loved in another life was a total crackpot. And now this, these uncontrollable emotions.

  “Because you needed to become accustomed to the feelings before they could be dulled. You must first understand how your abilities work, how they feel, before they can be blocked. If I had shown you sooner, you would never have fully developed them. You’d always be dependent upon the crutch to get you through.”

  “You are seriously going to stand there and tell me you did it for my own good?” I stared at him, I knew fire burned within my eyes, I felt the flames.

  “Yes.” Unapologetic bastard. “Are you alright?” Ian lifted his hand, lightly dusting his calloused fingers over my face, tracing the path the tears had taken.

  “Stop trying to change the subject,” I mumbled angrily.

  “Your well-being is always the subject as far as I’m concerned.” I started to move away from him only to be pulled back in his direction. He spun me to face him, locking my arms into place with his immovable hands. “Are you well?”

  “I’ll be fine. Well, if it doesn’t keep happening, I’ll be fine. If I end up looking like a roasted piece of road kill, I might lose it.” I tried to smile convincingly, but I knew he could read the fear behind my eyes.

  “Molly.” My voice reverberated in his chest as he pulled me tightly against his body. “I can’t lose you. I won’t.”

  “I don’t think I’m in any prophecies, so we’re good. I’m just the messenger, remember?” I mumbled against his abs. Stupid tall Guardian. I guess it didn’t help that my father had been human. I wasn’t exactly blessed with half-Guardian, tall person genes.

  “Keep it that way. The prophecies can always shift.” Ian pulled back, grabbing my hand in his to pull me toward the bed.

  “What do you mean prophesies can shift? Why didn’t anyone tell Izzy this? Or Kennan, for that matter?” I refused to sit next to him until he answered.

  “Because they both knew if they shifted the prophecy in any other direction everyone they cared about would pay the price. Neither of them was selfish enough to do it.”

  “They should’ve been. The darkness is still coming. Whatever they did, it didn’t stop what is coming.” Almost shouting, I struggled to contain my outburst.

  "No. But it made it less horrifying than it could’ve been. Soneillon is the demon of hatred, Molly. If he’d been allowed to roam free, the darkness would be more than just a war. It would’ve been a massacre.”

  “But they said the d
arkness will still fall, Ian. Doesn’t that seem like everything we’ve done has been for nothing? I just can’t believe a loving God would allow all of that sacrifice to be done in vain.” Giving voice to the thoughts that had plagued me since we got the news sent a chill down to my bones. I hadn’t wanted to face my anger or my fear. I’d wanted to plow on like Izzy. But I wasn’t her; I was a freaking empath.

  “It isn’t solely up to the Gods. We are in a battle against much darker forces, unimaginable beings. The Gods could not combat them alone; that is why we were created. We are meant to maintain the balance.”

  “This doesn’t feel like balance to me, Ian,” I replied around a yawn. The day had been one of the longest of my life. Bone tired, I climbed into bed next to Ian. I didn’t care if I was still in my gross clothes from tromping through the swamp. The only thing on my mind was sleep.

  “We will try tomorrow to make sense of all of this. For now, sleep.” Ian whispered words sending me into the one place I absolutely did not want to be – the dreaming.

  Please don’t let there be Revenants, please don’t let there be Revenants. I chanted to myself, hoping when I opened my eyes I would be alone.

  Slowly peeling my eyelids apart, I found myself alone in the fog. The fog didn’t feel right though, it was far denser than I remembered. Finding a blue light glowing in the distance, I turned to move towards it. The fog pushed against me, resisting every motion I made in the direction of the glow. Everything in me screamed I had to find it, whatever it was. The light was the answer.

  “Son of a bitch. I am walking towards the light,” I half laughed to myself, until I heard a muttered curse off in the distance.

  “Just. Let. Me. Through!” a frustrated voice gritted each word out. I made my way towards the voice, slowly plowing through the dense fog.

  “You aren’t real,” the light whispered. “I want to float. None of this is real.”

  “I am real. Do not abandon me, Izzy. You cannot turn your back on the world, we need you!” the voice shouted towards the light.